Backstory: I was born Christian Wolfgang Wilkie. My parents divorced when I was 7, my mom took a new husband, and to simplify paperwork I change my surname to his, Fredrickson (and my middle name to W.). He didn’t adopt me and my brother, I just did this to make things easier.

Then he philandered with his secretary and left the family while I was in Basic Training. For decades after I bore that name, for no reason other than procrastination. Only in late May 2023 did I find the personal drive to start setting up appointments for my name change.

Court Hearing

May 16: The first thing was to schedule a court hearing for my name change. This was easily done: I scooted up to the Government Center in downtown, paid the fee and put in my request, then received an email the next day with three optional dates, about three weeks after my request. I chose one and contacted two friends to serve as witnesses, sharing the Zoom link for the court appearance—no need to do this in person.

May 15: Before that, I had to get a criminal background check. The information on this whole process is sketchy. I had to call several numbers before I was directed to the correct office to request my court hearing, and all the online information said that I may or may not need a criminal background check. It also suggested that I would need to get my fingerprints taken, which is now a digital (no pun intended) and highly precise process. This was done downtown, at the Hennepin County Public Safety Facility, and I had to go twice because apparently they take two or three hours off during the middle of the day, and I’d shown up around noon.

May 17: When I drove out to Saint Paul, to the Minnesota Public Criminal History building, they did not need my fingerprints at all. I gave them some information, waited in the lobby for ten minutes, and they produced a clean bill of civic health. So that was $20 down the drain, but better safe than sorry, I guess.

June 7: My court date came up, the judge was jovial, thoughtful, and professional, my friends were curious and compliant, and within 15 minutes it was a done deal. Soon I received an uncertified copy of my court order in email, with the option of going downtown to get a certified copy (or having one mailed, but who has time for that?). I scooted up to the Government Center and requested three copies, because you never know.

All I had to do now was update all my legal and financial paperwork.

Real ID

Up to this point, the bureaucratic process had been very smooth and amiable. Everyone had their specific job to do, and I was unfailingly polite as I worked within the System to meet the requirements and get what I needed.

All progress ground to a halt, when attempting to get a Real ID. Mind you, Real ID is mandatory: at some point, it will be required for domestic flights. That deadline, however, is either August 2027 or May 2025, depending on whether you’re looking at the MN DPS-DVS or Hennepin County website and depending on which PDF you’ve downloaded. Attaining a Real ID is mandatory, yet the offices in charge of issuing these have an abundantly earned reputation for obfuscation, obstruction, and harassment of decent, tax-paying American citizens trying to obtain one. My sister-in-law was given the runaround with arbitrary requests for this form or that one until she collapsed in tears in the parking lot. Real ID officials are not heroes or patriots: they are antagonists set in place to sow civic discord, with the end goal of hampering domestic travel and creating criminals where there were none before.

June 13: I attempted to pre-apply for my Real ID, because the websites insisted this would make a smoother, swifter application process. My application was rejected because I’d used the uncertified copy of my court order, so I raced downtown to get the certified copies and resubmitted my application before close of business.

The next morning, I was informed my application was rejected again because my middle name was different on my birth certificate than on all my other legal documents. When I changed my surname to Fredrickson back in 1988, some office drudge struck out my surname Wilkie and typed in Fredrickson on the same line, but they left Wolfgang untouched. My driver’s license, social security card, IRS returns, and military records all show my legal middle name as “W.”, as it should be.

Yet the MN DPS-DVS does not accept the legal authority of the Social Security Administration, the Internal Revenue Service, the United States Armed Forces, nor that of their own office. They believe justice is being served by hanging all jurisprudence on a 35-year-old clerical error. I resubmitted my application, just in case they didn’t notice that all my legal paperwork and identification correctly lists my legal middle name, but they have instead recommended that I reapply for a new court hearing to contrive new legal documents that reflect this oversight. That is their best effort to assist a tax-paying citizen and a decorated combat veteran in complying with a conservative conspiracy to arbitrarily penalize disenfranchised demographics should they ever want to take a plane. If someone like me can’t get a Real ID, what better chance does someone against whom an inherently racist System has been constructed have?

June 30: I received notice that the amended court order was ready, so I picked up two certified copies and walked downstairs to get a new driver’s license. I need the new social security card in hand to apply for Real ID, but for just a license, they can refer to the system and see that I’ve applied for one, and they accept that. Now I just have to wait for the replacement to arrive in the mail, and I completed this within 30 days of the court hearing, so that’s done.

I went online to upload the amended, certified court order for my name change, as MN DPS-DVS requested. I entered my driver’s license number and the confirmation number for the previous attempt. The email they sent states: “Your pre-application is active for 60 days from the day you pre-applied. All updated documents should be uploaded before your pre-application expires. If your pre-application expires you need to complete a new pre-application or visit a driver’s license office to apply.” Given that I started this process on June 13, it’s only been two weeks and three days, so my pre-application should still be good.

Nope. The MN DPS-DVS website does not recognize their own confirmation number and they forcibly expired my application. I’m composing a formal complaint now.

And now that I have all my paperwork, I’m going to apply for the Enhanced ID, because fuck it.

UPDATE: I’ve been preapproved for the Real ID. I never heard back about the Enhanced ID, but as I looked into it, I realized I don’t want it. It’s not a stronger or higher classification in any way that matters to me as an airline commuter.

July 17: Armed with my new Social Security card and new Drivers License (haven’t heard back from Idaho Vital Records about my birth certificate), I scooted down to the DMV to apply for my Real ID.

If you get preapproved for your Real ID, be sure to write down your confirmation number or have your email handy before you go to the counter. They will refer to it to see the records that you scanned in. It makes things easier for everyone.

So yeah, I applied, the clerk was very helpful, and she punched VOID into my brand-new updated driver’s license, not even two weeks old. Isn’t that funny? What a waste. Anyway, this journey is over and all I have to do is wait several weeks for it to show up.

Social Security

I set a goal of getting all my other paperwork and identification updated, not that I believe a preponderance of corrected legal records will mean anything to some petty MN DPS-DVS official who was granted a little power and now seeks to punish everyone for it.

June 15: This morning was my appointment at the Social Security Administration. When I signed up for my appointment, they asked if I would like to receive text updates, and I agreed to this. I urge everyone to agree to this. Yesterday I received a text saying “when you arrive at the building, please click this link.” I scooted up to the SSA building, opened my texts, clicked the link, answered some questions about disability, and then received a digital ticket for waiting in line. This was good, because when I walked up to the office’s front door, there was a packed waiting room and a line out the door. I waited at the end for about a minute before my phone vibrated and I was told to proceed to a window.

I felt bad about having to excuse myself and shuffle to the front of the line. I showed the security guards my ticket number just as the corroborating announcement played over the PA system, and they hustled me through the metal detector. Thus I was only slightly in disarray as I went to my service window.

The clerk asked to see my ID, and I slid her my driver’s license. She asked what we were doing today, and I said I was applying for a corrected Social Security card due to a name change. She asked to see my paperwork, and I handed her my certified court order. The way she threw up her arms and thanked me told me a lot about what her workday usually looks like. She sounded like she’d won $5 million in a lottery.

In fact, there was an incident erupting behind me, where a woman was cursing out a clerk because she didn’t have her necessary paperwork. It turned out she hadn’t waited in line but found an open window to ask some questions, then turned it into a class dispute: “Why do I need medical records for a Social Security card? I ain’t like you! Do I look like I can fly to another country when I want? I don’t need no damn passport!” The clerk had to draw down her metal window shield and the unhappy woman was escorted from the building, and I would guess this happens dozens of times a day, every day, to all the clerks working there.

As I left the building, I noticed many of the same people still waiting in line from when I passed them to go through security, when my number was called. They couldn’t have been too happy to see someone who looks like me slip ahead of them and leave within 15 minutes. They should have signed up for text messages.

The upshot is that I will receive my replacement card in two weeks. I was hoping I’d walk out with it in hand to move to the next steps, but that’s not how these things work. After I get the new card, then I can apply for a new driver’s license and passport.

June 28: The replacement social security card has not arrived. I put a note inside the mailbox, as directed, with my new name; I even relabeled my name on the outside of the mailbox. This was necessary because sometimes the mail carrier will not deliver something as sensitive as a social security card if the name on the box doesn’t match. And a couple of the mail carriers in my neighborhood have shitty attitudes: I have dozens of pictures of my mail crumpled and torn when I go to pick it up.

I called the Social Security Administration, reported that the card hadn’t arrived, and they said they’d request a new one sent, which entails another two-week wait. I was ordered to get a replacement driver’s license within 30 days, and this delay is taking up a lot of time. The SSA agent said that I should still be able to get a replacement driver’s license because the DMV’s records come from the SSA, and my name is updated in the system. I just can’t get a Real ID until I have a new court order.

For that matter, I heard back from the district court and they approved my requested amendment to the court order, so the old name includes my fully spelled middle name. This Friday I’ll go to the Government Center to get a new license and pick up certified copies of the court order, and Real ID will have to find a new hair to split.

July 17: The replacement Social Security card arrived shortly after I reapplied for it. Today I received a second Social Security card, which I guess would be helpful if I had the first one on me and got robbed (which has happened; the cops were worse than useless) or into a car accident? I’ll just file it away and forget about it.

Birth Certificate

June 13: Following the directions on the Idaho government website, I printed out a request form for an amended birth certificate. They did this for me back in 1988, as I described above, where someone typed dashes through “WILKIE” and typed “FREDRICKSON” just below it. Since then, the hospital I was born in has been razed, but the request goes through Idaho Vital Records so it shouldn’t be affected.

What’s weird is that they have absolutely no capacity to receive requests online. No digital form, no email, nothing. I had to print out the request form and mail it with a copy of my old birth certificate and one of the certified court orders (good thing I paid for three). I mailed them a check, according to their list of fees. After that… I guess you just have to trust they’ve received it, without acknowledgement, and their site says that if they need more information, they’ll be in contact.

June 30: I received a letter from Idaho Vital Records yesterday. They claimed I did not send them a certified court order (I’m certain I did, because I purchased three and only have two left) and that I didn’t fill out the check correctly. That part is true: while their PDF guide gave me the wrong total, I forgot to fill out the Dollars line. Brain fart.

I’ve mailed them a corrected check and another certified court order, so I have to wait for them to accept it.

July 17: Haven’t heard anything. Emailed them asking for an update.

• Legal Name Change: completed 6/7/23
• Updated Driver’s License: completed 6/30/23
• Updated Social Security Card: completed 6/15/23
• Updated Birth Certificate: awaiting response
• Real ID: approved, awaiting card 7/17/23
• Passport: haven’t started
• Credit Cards Updated: in process
• Bank Records Updated: completed